I’ve been thinking about how to involve my children in day-to-day tasks and chores since before I got married. Sometimes John and I will linger over a meal, or sit together in the evening talking about our own childhoods, dreams we have for our children, and mistakes or trends we want to avoid in child rearing. In the course of these conversations, I’ve come to appreciate how my Dad and Mom involved my siblings and I on the farm. Sure, I did my share of complaining, but work was just a part of life, and farming was the life we loved. We children knew we were an integral part of the farm and that it couldn’t run without us.
Influenced by my childhood experience and encouraged by articles and books I’d read, I began to involve Emma in my daily chores. Ladies, having a little helper slows you down! I started by putting Emma into the empty sink while I washed dishes, carrying her out to feed the cats, and teaching her to pick up her toys. Perhaps I was over-anxious to get her involved, but I knew I wanted to start young. I often felt ineffectual and was inconsistent. I didn’t have a good idea of what skills and abilities would come with what age, but I kept on.
Influenced by my childhood experience and encouraged by articles and books I’d read, I began to involve Emma in my daily chores. Ladies, having a little helper slows you down! I started by putting Emma into the empty sink while I washed dishes, carrying her out to feed the cats, and teaching her to pick up her toys. Perhaps I was over-anxious to get her involved, but I knew I wanted to start young. I often felt ineffectual and was inconsistent. I didn’t have a good idea of what skills and abilities would come with what age, but I kept on.
In two weeks Emma will turn two. She loves to stand on a chair and help me wash dishes. Whenever she sees me baking she’ll push a chair over to help out. As she stirs and samples, I teach her the names and uses of things.
Emma is familiar with all the stages of laundry, and hanging wash on the rack indoors is one of her favorite tasks. She knows her special job is feeding the kitties, and the cats know she’s the one who feeds them. Putting away dishes, stacking cans on the shelf, fetching the wipes for Mommy, setting the table with silverware, picking up before Daddy comes home, etc. Each little task is not only preparing Emma for bigger responsibilities later on in her life, but they are also building her confidence and sense of self worth.
Emma is familiar with all the stages of laundry, and hanging wash on the rack indoors is one of her favorite tasks. She knows her special job is feeding the kitties, and the cats know she’s the one who feeds them. Putting away dishes, stacking cans on the shelf, fetching the wipes for Mommy, setting the table with silverware, picking up before Daddy comes home, etc. Each little task is not only preparing Emma for bigger responsibilities later on in her life, but they are also building her confidence and sense of self worth.
To Emma all this is mostly play. She loves to be doing what I am doing. She is not treated as an asset to get more work done (usually I’m slower with her help). And often training is involved.
“Don’t whine when I wring out your mop.”
“Pick up the alphabet cards when I tell you.”
“Don’t hold the dish rag over the floor.”
As a result Emma and I spend all day working and playing together. Training her to be obedient makes her fun to be around. Keeping busy makes a happier little girl.
To put it all in perspective; having a dust pan full of dirt poured out just short of the trash can, or the clean and folded laundry tossed across the floor, can make me want to scream, especially if I’m on edge or exhausted. Sometimes I’m too tired or in too much of a hurry for my little helper. I’ll say, “No, not now.” Every day I miss many beautiful opportunities to involve her because I’m impatient, overly busy, or selfish. But I am learning.
“Don’t whine when I wring out your mop.”
“Pick up the alphabet cards when I tell you.”
“Don’t hold the dish rag over the floor.”
As a result Emma and I spend all day working and playing together. Training her to be obedient makes her fun to be around. Keeping busy makes a happier little girl.
To put it all in perspective; having a dust pan full of dirt poured out just short of the trash can, or the clean and folded laundry tossed across the floor, can make me want to scream, especially if I’m on edge or exhausted. Sometimes I’m too tired or in too much of a hurry for my little helper. I’ll say, “No, not now.” Every day I miss many beautiful opportunities to involve her because I’m impatient, overly busy, or selfish. But I am learning.
As I look ahead I dream of a healthy, happy family, who love to work and play together. I see children who are capable, confident and obedient, growing up to be mature and selfless adults who are prepared for whatever challenges life may bring. And I should note here, that John and I desire above all else to be friends to our children. I could say so much about the importance of gaining their trust, confidences, and love. And gained they must be. Children should see that you desire their hearts and are willing to pursue them. Perhaps some of you took away a healthy work ethic from your childhood, but experienced difficult or strained relationships with your parents. Our earnest desire is to cultivate close and loving relationships with each of our children, as well as instill in them the satisfaction of meaningful work.
What are your dreams for your family? How do you include, or imagine including your children in your life and work?